David Arquette Is Making Up For Lost Time

Courtney Cox is no longer around to send David Arquette into the time out corner when he acts the fool, so now he's letting down his everything and going wild. Not only is David looking like a Czechoslovakian circus roadie who smokes meth with the clowns and isn't allowed near goats by court order, but he's partying like he's got no curfew!!! It's like Big as seen through the eyes of Joe Francis.

Page Six says that at the GQ Men of the Year Awards at the Chateau Marmont in L.A. the other night, David's thirst for the sweet nectar was so serious that he jumped through a window to get to the bar faster. The witness-type said that David was in a rush to get his mouth around a bottle so he cut his distance to the bar in half by climbing through a window.

You know, some might call that move desperate, pathetic and sad, to which I say, YOU'RE RIGHT, but it's also all sorts of smart! What if David didn't act with immediate urgency (as one of my really annoying ex-bosses used to fart) and politely walked to the bar instead of throwing himself through an open window? What if in that extra 2 minutes the bartender served the last drop of booze to somebody else? David would've been totally fucked. So sometimes you just have to jump through a window. Don't act like at your last family reunion you didn't crash through a screen door when you heard your auntie scream "Who wants the last beer?" from the kitchen.

And I know David is looking like his parts come pre-lubed with bathtub cheese, but I still would.